


As the World Comes To A End, I’ll Be Here to Hold Your Hand

by CherriesAndRaindrops



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Autistic Heather McNamara, Bisexual Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Borderline Personality Disorder, Gen, Lesbian Heather McNamara, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Protective Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), all the romantic ships are pretty minor, the murphys are trying their best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21674908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherriesAndRaindrops/pseuds/CherriesAndRaindrops
Summary: Connor and Heather McNamara being secret best friends? In MY fanfic?It’s a lot more likely than you think.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Heather Chandler/Heather McNamara, Heather McNamara & Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Miguel/Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. BFFs (That Stands For Us!)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a fanfic for my crush with these two a year back. She moved away mere months after. She was the only friend that I felt loved me for who I was, and I was heartbroken when she switched schools a few months later.  
> I’ve had lots of crushes after her, but none were as special.  
> Wherever you are, this is for you.
> 
> (Fanfic title is from King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men, and chapter title is from BFFs from The Spongebob Musical.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s only a few months into kindergarten, and Heather McNamara’s already having some problems, but a very certain boy comes to save the day.

**October 3rd,** **2007**

Heather McNamara was knocked off her tiny feet by a burgundy, rubber ball that had just had a meet-up with her face.

She heard howls of laughter get closer and closer, and as she threw the ball off her and slowly got on her feet again, Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney caught her innocent brown eyes.

”That was MEAN!” She shouted, stomping her bright yellow slip-on onto the hard pavement.

”Don’t be a baby!” Kurt sneered. “You’re just over-acting!”

Heather had enough of the two’s taunts, and summoned all the strength her five-year-old body had and pushed Kurt to the ground.

”THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A BIG JERK!”

She wasn’t expecting him to throw rocks at her.

She yelped, darting away from the two boys as fast as her little legs could take her. She quickly decided to try and hide among the kids in the playground. She could hear Ram and Kurt’s cruel laughter getting closer and closer and closer, but she didn’t dare turn around.

She was almost there. She instinctively slapped her forehead, feeling the nervousness take over her entire state. But just a few more steps, and she’d be there.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two...

She tripped, and slammed into the gravel.

And that was it. It was game over for her as the two brats approached her, laughing like utter lunatics. She felt like a deer in headlights, smashing her palm against her forehead.

No one expected Ram to be suddenly slashed in the face with a stick.

The boy let out a cry of pain as blood trickled down his cheek.

”What the heck, Connor?!”

Kurt yelled.

Connor shrugged. “He stole my favorite green pencil during drawing time.

As Kurt dragged Ram over to one of the old recess aids, the infamous Connor sat down next to Heather. No one would tease her then, because even some of the fourth graders were smart enough to know not to mess with him.

(Unfortunately for Connor, this mindset went away as soon as 8th grade started).

”Hey, it’s okay. Ram and Kurt are big meanies to everyone.”

The blonde nodded, still shaking slightly in fear.

”My name’s Connor, what’s yours?”

”...Heather.”

”Nice meeting you, Heather!” Connor smiled, his heart skipping a beat as the girl responded with another one. “Could we be friends?”

”Yeah! I’d LOVE to have a new one!” The petite girl grinned, flapping her hands in pure excitement. She never had a friend before! Oh, she already new this was gonna be great! 

”Alright!” Connor’s cheer shared the same exact joy that Heather felt. Much like her, he wasn’t used to this whole friend thing. “We’re gonna be the BESTEST friends ever, I promise!”

Connor and Heather’s parents were both practically euphoric when they both got home from school and shared the news of their newfound friends. They were always trying to skip around Heather’s gymnastics classes and Connor’s therapy sessions to arrange for the two to hang out after school or on the weekends. They never thought their kids would have an easy time socializing with their peers.

The duo were attached at the hip. Sure, they were in different classes, but everyday at recess, they both dashed for the swings. Heather was always ready to share useless facts about Spongebob Squarepants, while Connor enlightened her about the funny thing his little sister did yesterday.

But everything changed when first grade came along.

To put it simply, a girl named Heather Chandler moved from New York City and just so happened to be in Heather McNamara’s class.

The years went by, and things got worse for the duo.

But Connor kept his promise.


	2. headcanons so you have something while I think of a oneshot idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all.

-Connor has BPD, and Heather has anxiety.

-Heather’s also autistic (just like your gal), but that’s more of a disability rather than a mental illness.

-She has a panda squishie that she lets Connor use whenever he needs it.

-He lets her borrow his hoodies whenever she’s too cold.

-Their friendship obviously isn’t perfect, so they have arguments occasionally.

-They usually aren’t that bad, but when they are...

-Let’s just say that you can hear screaming a few blocks down.

-It usually takes them both a while for them. to apologize.

-Connor will usually write a letter and slip it in her locker, while Heather will call him.

-However it happens, it always ends with a hug.

-Connor lets Heather braid his hair whenever he’s high.

-She hears some deep shit.

-Whenever she has a meltdown, Connor will pull her into his lap, and if she lets him, he’ll embrace her.

-He’s actually one of the few people allowed to touch her.

-McNamara hasn’t told him about her big crush on Chandler.

-In fact, she’s still trying to come out to him (h e t h i n k s s h e ‘ s A m e r i c a n)

-Zoe’s jealous of her because she can actually build a positive relationship with her brother and she can’t (and tbh she has every right to be because of how Connor treats her).

-But the two gals still talk sometimes (Heather’s always really shy, but Zoe doesn’t mind).

-Connor and Heather share English class and they sit next to each other, but since their friendship’s a secret they swipe notes to each other.

-They’re very careful about it too.

-In conclusion these two are my brOTP have a lovely day.


	3. This Could Be Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heathers welcome a girl by the name of Veronica Sawyer into their clique.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied eating disorders and vomiting.
> 
> I have a seven hour play rehearsal tomorrow to kick off tech week and my body is not ready. I’ll leave you guys updates in the notes on how this hell week goes (if I even have time to write).
> 
> -🍒

“how’s _it going”_

McNamara took a double-take at her new text. Of course Connor would text her only after she decided to skip class with Duke and Chandler. She hastily typed out a reply.

_”Good, where r u??”_

“Who’s that, Heather?”

”J-just my dad!” The blonde blurted out as the mythic bitch attempted to get a look at her phone. “You know how over-protective he is of me.”

Chandler looked skeptical, but moved on with a, “Whatever you say, Heather.”

”Did you hear what’s going on with the juniors? Sophia Kawachi got caught sleeping with a guy from the community college!” Duke gossiped. 

“Oh my god, really?!” McNamara gasped, fumbling with her favorite pale pink lipstick.

The leader of the trio only chuckled. “It’s just typical beginning of the year drama, Heather. Remember how last year when Connor Murphy got suspended on the second day of school for stabbing Rich Goranski with a pen?”

Those words stung the tiny blonde like a bee. She hated hearing nasty things about her best friend, even though she knew he could be a very nasty person himself. It’s just that she knew there was some light inside of him.

Her phone buzzed again, just as Duke started rambling on about how much of a freak he was.

_”mom got mad at me for getting high so I didn’t go”_

Gee, so much for spending the first seven minutes of the school year avoiding the Heathers so she could find him.

_”The least you could’ve done was tell me in advance”_

_“it’s not like you’re the only thing on my mind when I’m high”_

”Your dad’s really over-protective of you, Heather.”

The smirk on Chandler’s face and the look in her emerald green eyes reminded McNamara of what she was dying to tell Connor for the last two weeks.

_”Can u come over to my place tonight? There’s something important I wanna tell you in person”_

_”can I come over tomorrow I have a date with miguel tonight”_

The cheerleader groaned, tapping her fingers against her forehead. God, even though the air conditioning was working for once, she still felt too hot. She texted Connor back with a simple “Sure”, not even noticing Duke gagged and barge into one of the stalls.

The smell of vomit filled the room.

”Ugh, grow up Heather. Bulimia is so ‘87.” Chandler commented, her complete undivided attention on fixing her mascara .

”You should see a doctor, Heather.” McNamara suggested, applying her lipstick.

“Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should...” The girl in green agreed.

The door opened.

”Ah, Heather and Heather.” The guidance counselor, Ms. Fleming, said, her tone as cold as a blizzard 

Duke’s entire dinner came spilling out of her mouth.

”...and Heather. Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting? You’re late for class.”

“Heather wasn’t feeling well, we’re helping her.” Chandler protested, crossing her arms and shooting a challenging look at the woman.

“Not without a hall pass, you’re not. Week’s detention-“

”Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass! Yearbook committee...”

The three girls and the woman all turned around to see a girl with dark brown hair stretching to her shoulders and wearing the ugliest blue sweatshirt any of them have ever seen.

”I see you’re all listed...” Ms. Fleming sighed in annoyance as she started to make her way out of the bathroom. “Hurry up and get to where you’re going.”

”This is an excellent forgery...” Chandler examined the fake pass. “Who are you?

”V-veronica! Sawyer...” The shorter girl sputtered.

”Hmmm...” The demon queen looked her up and down. “Listen, I don’t do this often, but would you like to sit with us at lunch today?”

“...excuse me?”

”If you can forge notes like this, you’d be an amazing addition to our little group.”

”S-sure!” Veronica grinned. “Why not?”

Chandler smirked, making McNamara’s stomach flip. God, it was illegal to be that hot. “Alright, girls.” The tall girl looked to her and Duke. “Let’s make this weirdo beautiful.”

—

_”You’re not gonna believe what just happened”_

” _what”_

_”Chandler just let a nerdy girl join our group!!!”_

_”who”_

_”Veronica Sawyer, u know her??”_

_”we had to do a social studies project together. she’s okay”_

_”Cool, GTG lunch break’s almost over”_

_”see ya”_

McNamara put her phone down and started flapping her hands in excitement. She was finally gonna have a new friend! Someone who knew who could understand how she felt. Someone who she could tell all her secrets to.

Someone new to feed on if the worst happened.

She knew that Chandler wouldn’t keep her around for long, and when the worst happened, she and Duke would be by her sign watching Veronica’s life get ruined.

And she was more than ready for it.


	4. Drowning in a Crowded Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has a difficult night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’d like to see anything in this, don’t be afraid to leave me a request in the comments! I’ll be sure to write it!

“Connie, I wanna talk about something.”

Connor looked up from his plate of spaghetti, through Miguel’s glasses, and into his pretty brown eyes. He couldn’t help but notice that they were tainted with worry.

“Yeah?”

His boyfriend clasped his hands together, and directed his eyes towards the table. “I took you on this date because there’s something super important I have to tell you.”

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”

“Nononono!” Miguel’s gaze quickly met Connor’s skeptical one again.“It’s not like that! You’re perfect!”

“Well, then what is it?” The taller boy asked, titling his head to the side.

Miguel rested his head in the palm of his hand. “My dad had this sudden job transfer to San Antonio.”

Connor felt his heart drop.

”I’m... I’m moving on October 2nd, babe.”

No, please no. They still had a whole future together! Why can’t even spend one final Halloween together? Why does he have to get snatched away from him now?

”...why didn’t you tell me?”

”I wanted to, but-“

”Y’know, a little heads up as soon as you found out would’ve been nice.” Connor snapped. He almost didn’t even notice the attention he caught from the tables surrounding the two, or Miguel’s eyes getting misty.

”Connie, I’m sorry-“

”DON’T CALL ME THAT!” The angry boy stood up, clenching his fists so tight his nails dug into his pale palms. “You KNEW about this for like, a week and a half, hell, maybe even TWO weeks, giving you plenty of time to tell me about it, but instead, you set a date JUST TO TELL ME YOU’RE MOVING AWAY?!

”I know, I know! Just, please...”

Connor looked down at the one he used to love. Tears were rolling down his face down, and half of the restaurant was staring at him. So, he decided to end it right then and there.

”Fuck you, Miguel.” Connor turned on his heel and started pacing towards the door. “I knew you never cared about me.

—

“Where have you been?!”

”Hello to you too, dad.” Connor replied, shutting the front door behind him. “I was just with Miguel for a bit.

”Connor, dear, are you okay?” Cynthia reached out to touch his cheek. “You look quite sick.

”Leave me alone, mom.” He attempted to make a quite dash up the stairs, desperately blinking away the hot tears plaguing his vision.

”Connor, just tell us what happened. We’ll understand-“

”NO YOU WON’T, DAD!” Connor swirled around, letting the tears flow freely down his rosy cheeks. “YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND A SINGLE FUCKING THING I TELL YOU!”

As he was venting his frustrations, he got an idea.

He had a person in mind he could confide in. Screaming at his parents would end in him getting grounded if he did it for a long enough time. And although, and although this particular person could be a massive bitch, she was the only friend he had left.

Blocking out Larry’s lecture, he made a mad dash out the front door. Once that was completed, he booked it into his car, and sped away as soon as possible.

It was off to Heather’s for him.


End file.
